Pale Wire (Popscene)

Sunday, April 11, 2004

ALA Celebrity READ Posters

On Thursday I discovered the online shop at the American Library Association's website. There you can purchase those celebrity Read posters. You know the type: wholesome celebrities championing wholesome books much in the same manner they champion wholesome dairy products in those ever-so-charming Milk ads. You can find them at any junior high or high school library.

While browsing through the latest line I tried to decide who, if any, of the celebrities had actually read the book they were pushing. I couldn’t come to any certain conclusions, but I’m finding it hard to imagine Coolio plowing through all of Mary Shelley’s Victorian brick, Frankenstein.

There’s Alec Baldwin dressed up like Huck Finn, Enrique Iglesias trying really hard to look sexy with a copy of Old Man and the Sea, LL Cool J proffering The Children’s Health Food Book, Bernie Mac getting behind a tome that an review refers to as a “book of Bible promises for teens,” Jason Kidd dunking a copy of Langston Hughes, Rod Schneider dressed up like Gregor Samsa (all bugged out), Rosie O’Donnell descending to new depths, and Bill Gates looking like…well…Bill Gates.

And I’m guessing the “locker size” Orlando Bloom is the top seller, seeing as it’s featured on their e-shop’s main page. Retail price for all these bad boys: $15American.